Tuesday, August 7, 2012
102.. anticlimactic
I saw this poster about getting things done hanging near my desk and it reminded me about how i felt just 6 months ago.. (or is it 7.. My math is not working..anyway the beginning of January). I had a totally different state of mind back then, so focused on my building, dead set on getting it done and i was able to manage that many builds in such a short time. Oh what passion and dedication it takes, i remember putting my heart and soul into those models. Then i got there and found something else...
Now, its almost the same.. The first week recovering from home.. Getting back into the swing of things. And soon the pace will really pick up, and the faster i get things done, the faster each day goes. Except now..from then.. I let matters of the heart find me.
Not a day goes by without a thought.. But maybe my little orange peels have dried up. I said once that i wouldnt let go... And sadly i have. At least i tell myself so. Oh but its a great story of a boy so far away finding someone to dote over, and letting the drama unfold in his head until a.. Not so climactic ending. Though, thats what next chapters are for, and bridges.
So the fleeting moment that engulfed me for the last couple of months is fading, life continues...ill continue with my passions.. And maybe i can find another fleeting moment.
But she has a place in my heart and maybe she will never realize how good of a place that could be.
And so on to the next months projects.... Building and building, and soon to show the world where its all gonna be.
Saturday, June 30, 2012
182.5 days in
So half the year is over.
I must say 2012 has been pretty kind to me and just the stack of boarding passes ought to be a nice feather in my cap. Now i'm feeling like im getting settled in to life here. Getting used to the life, and reaping some rewards of my hard work. I cant wait to continue the adventures that is my life here in europe.
Work never ceases to surprise me, and every day is just still wonderfully different. I know that i still have a lot to learn, and one day i'll have something out in the market. That will be a truly glorius day!
Im sure ive been distracted in the last 5 months but some little orange. Though it could also be taken as inspiration, or a muse - much like the poets of old. Im sure its still healthy, but whatever gets one to build for the day right?
THat being said, ive began to start looking at whats next in my life. New goals, new projects. Whatever it means, i find the need to climb a mountain.
And we'll think about whats after that when i get down from the mountain.
Monday, May 7, 2012
Novelty, Lost and Found
When i first started, i asked myself how long it would take for the novelty to wear off, for me to find a boring moment in an otherwise incredibly exciting job. So it was just about 17 months.
Ive been in a rut, i just havent been waking up for it all. Dont get me wrong folks, its still fun, still playing with toys and making robots...believe me, the worst day I could have still makes up for all the nutso, hard days i had getting here. There just hasnt been a bounce in my step, stemming from many things. Maybe its a lack of motivation, a mixture of things going on in my personal life that made its way to my professional life, or maybe its just my personality, getting bored easily and looking for the next thing. Whatever it was, I feel like its passed, and maybe this is the cycle, feeling out of it, and sticking through long enough for the wheels to get back to speed.
The words will always play in my head, and im really glad someone was there to say them to me. "Don't lose it," he said. It just took a good couple of hours seeing people so happy and passionate to lift my spirits. For the first time at the job, i've felt super appreciated, and witnessed the appreciation that people have for Designers of their beloved product. It was a great weekend for the spirit, and cant wait to get to the next one..a mere four weeks from now.
As for my personal life, a song does it justice.
I would walk 500 miles, and I would walk 500 more, just to be the man who walked a thousand miles to fall down at your door.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Little Orange
Ever try to peel off the skin from one of those small oranges in one piece? its not the easiest thing in the world, but wholly satisfying when finished. I hear the Japanese have contests on shapes you make out of it. But anyway.
I havent been here in a while. Work is at a steady stride, the routine is there, but never really routine. I still work at a job that offers me something possibly different every day even if things can seem the same on paper. Sometimes i forget that what i say has some weight, that i have just a bit of decision power and that theres just that much i bring to the table. Theres my own humility, but i have to remember to have an opinion, and strong ones.
LEGOWorld was fun, four nights in 'The Sky.'
Yea, the first day was tough, and the rest got smoother as the days went by. You can find my robots on Flickr.com/1brick. The photomonkey was awesome!
Really though, I havent been on cloud nine for a while, maybe innocently, but getting old and jaded is keeping me grounded. The time was short, the time was great and the sleeping was next to none..but you had to have some, or not. Seems a little orange kind of rolled into my life, sweet for sure. Just like everything else, gotta take it as it is, and only hope for more.
As for building, the major thing i came up with was accepting failure. Failure as a variant of done. My big robot is gonna hit the shelf, and maybe ill return to it. Hitting the sketchbook hardcore these days.
Time for something new yea? Something grand, something big, something amazing, and maybe a new massive ridiculous creation as well.
I havent been here in a while. Work is at a steady stride, the routine is there, but never really routine. I still work at a job that offers me something possibly different every day even if things can seem the same on paper. Sometimes i forget that what i say has some weight, that i have just a bit of decision power and that theres just that much i bring to the table. Theres my own humility, but i have to remember to have an opinion, and strong ones.
LEGOWorld was fun, four nights in 'The Sky.'
Yea, the first day was tough, and the rest got smoother as the days went by. You can find my robots on Flickr.com/1brick. The photomonkey was awesome!
Really though, I havent been on cloud nine for a while, maybe innocently, but getting old and jaded is keeping me grounded. The time was short, the time was great and the sleeping was next to none..but you had to have some, or not. Seems a little orange kind of rolled into my life, sweet for sure. Just like everything else, gotta take it as it is, and only hope for more.
As for building, the major thing i came up with was accepting failure. Failure as a variant of done. My big robot is gonna hit the shelf, and maybe ill return to it. Hitting the sketchbook hardcore these days.
Time for something new yea? Something grand, something big, something amazing, and maybe a new massive ridiculous creation as well.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
The crack
a bit hungry, but felt like writing
The crack of the cue ball hitting a fresh nine ball rack with a good stroke would send chills down many a spine. It was music to my ears. And i was that guy, yea that guy showing off in the middle of the pool table, at least with the loud break. I had a few good racks, relatively consistent with a decent position. The break shot from the back of the rack with the corner ball going into the side pocket-that shot was becoming easy.
I needed a fresh look at things, a creative boost in another department. What was mostly necessary was being able to shoot without bias, without though or complaint. Its like building without rules, screaming without volume, punching the gas on a go kart and hitting the turn without brakes. That happened this week too, but no one can get enough of that anyway.
It was a payday present to myself. But it wasnt the usual pool hall experience, my rusty memory of the smoky place, ridiculously loud music and friendly hostess seemed to fade a little for a silent three hours of no nonsense shooting. I could use a little company sometimes, i think i spend way too much time alone to be honest. Maybe that stark idealist, maybe i havent figured it out yet, ever the humble gentleman, the nomad and warrior haha.
And this old man on the train, looked like Mr. Miyagi and Sam seed rolled into one. His dirty grey que stuck out of a hole in a beat up old skully. He flexed and stretched like a crazy drunken master and he looked like he lost 3 of his fingers on his right hand fighting the good fight. 'Hav god dag!' streamed out of of his drunken lips, wet from the foam of a can that he couldnt open properly. I made up a story in my head about him, he couldnt just be a vagabond, and homeless stranger. He had to be this warrior, down on his luck, maybe missing some old lady lost in the passage of time. He fought many a battle, drunken style, maybe eagle claw..and his three strong fingers were a akin to that. 'Hav god dag' in an asian danish accent, the old master stammered. I wonder if i could have learned something from him. He could have showed me how to strengthen my hands by crushing beer cans he drank. The story was great. The ride home was sleepy and quiet, and the next day would be just as quiet.
Time for ice cream, time for legoland.
and i should mention oktoberfest somewhere. but thats another story.
The crack of the cue ball hitting a fresh nine ball rack with a good stroke would send chills down many a spine. It was music to my ears. And i was that guy, yea that guy showing off in the middle of the pool table, at least with the loud break. I had a few good racks, relatively consistent with a decent position. The break shot from the back of the rack with the corner ball going into the side pocket-that shot was becoming easy.
I needed a fresh look at things, a creative boost in another department. What was mostly necessary was being able to shoot without bias, without though or complaint. Its like building without rules, screaming without volume, punching the gas on a go kart and hitting the turn without brakes. That happened this week too, but no one can get enough of that anyway.
It was a payday present to myself. But it wasnt the usual pool hall experience, my rusty memory of the smoky place, ridiculously loud music and friendly hostess seemed to fade a little for a silent three hours of no nonsense shooting. I could use a little company sometimes, i think i spend way too much time alone to be honest. Maybe that stark idealist, maybe i havent figured it out yet, ever the humble gentleman, the nomad and warrior haha.
And this old man on the train, looked like Mr. Miyagi and Sam seed rolled into one. His dirty grey que stuck out of a hole in a beat up old skully. He flexed and stretched like a crazy drunken master and he looked like he lost 3 of his fingers on his right hand fighting the good fight. 'Hav god dag!' streamed out of of his drunken lips, wet from the foam of a can that he couldnt open properly. I made up a story in my head about him, he couldnt just be a vagabond, and homeless stranger. He had to be this warrior, down on his luck, maybe missing some old lady lost in the passage of time. He fought many a battle, drunken style, maybe eagle claw..and his three strong fingers were a akin to that. 'Hav god dag' in an asian danish accent, the old master stammered. I wonder if i could have learned something from him. He could have showed me how to strengthen my hands by crushing beer cans he drank. The story was great. The ride home was sleepy and quiet, and the next day would be just as quiet.
Time for ice cream, time for legoland.
and i should mention oktoberfest somewhere. but thats another story.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
obligatory..but really
Spending the better half of the day cooling down after my first sober birthday since i turned 25. I came home a few hundred kroner and one white bowtie (for some reason the sound of this word does not resonate with me) lighter.
The party itself was a whirlwind. Once at the club, it was near non stop dancing until just about 3am. I was glad people came and got dressed up and even more happy that even those who didnt particularly enjoy the music still came out and danced. The energy was incredible in there, and it was an amazing evening.
It was also a milestone, my first birthday in a new life. I cant believe how much had changed in the last year. And last night had started with this song that i kind of left with in nyc. I saved as many nights as i could, fought the brink of dawn, and tomorrow came, I was gone...and eventually so was she. The last year was truly sobering, full of learning experiences and now a new family here. I felt like i brought them back with me, to the bronx, to a piece of me that they may not really have known about or maybe they did. And it really meant a lot to me that they were there, while wishing my friends back home could help revel in the festivities as well. While lifting this massive one liter of danish beer, i was reminded of the travels and the sights ive seen. It was obviously Munich, but then more than that, my travels have brought me to the foot of the Eiffel tower, the water of the Trevi Fountain, a castle in the mountains, and where the seas meet the seas. But moreover, from those travels i knew there is just so much more to see of the world, the cities that no one heard of, and avenues few people walk through. I danced with more gusto and confidence last night than i had in a very long time. I left my inhibitions at the door and watched my shy youth go off in the distance. Perhaps it was a product of the year's happenings. The nearly forced learning of being independent, quickly and in a place where nobody knows your name, and many times where nobody knows your tongue. Where was this gusto while standing next to a beautiful girl on sort of balcony, listening to a swing band, in Verona!? Next time then. I dont know if i had any new turn patterns in me, maybe a few new moves, or just a few that came back from the back of my mind. I wondered if it would shadow the professional creativity that i've been able to display in the last year. So many things made with these two hands, and even fewer that anyone will see.
The year hasnt abated my hunger for more, and maybe even hungrier to see more, grow more and be more. At times i feel like my age lies to me, theres so much more life to live, I only wonder if i had missed out so much and trying to rush to catch up as i get older. Who am i kidding though, i always tell myself that i intend to live forever!
So here i sit, in a quiet apartment, feasting on Ken Burns Baseball. Enjoying a lazy sunday at home, trying not to think about too much and surely doing way too little. Perhaps i'll get something sweet from the store. I should be thinking about tomorrow, and maybe the next year ahead. Maybe very little will change in the coming year, maybe more will. Yea, 31.
The party itself was a whirlwind. Once at the club, it was near non stop dancing until just about 3am. I was glad people came and got dressed up and even more happy that even those who didnt particularly enjoy the music still came out and danced. The energy was incredible in there, and it was an amazing evening.
It was also a milestone, my first birthday in a new life. I cant believe how much had changed in the last year. And last night had started with this song that i kind of left with in nyc. I saved as many nights as i could, fought the brink of dawn, and tomorrow came, I was gone...and eventually so was she. The last year was truly sobering, full of learning experiences and now a new family here. I felt like i brought them back with me, to the bronx, to a piece of me that they may not really have known about or maybe they did. And it really meant a lot to me that they were there, while wishing my friends back home could help revel in the festivities as well. While lifting this massive one liter of danish beer, i was reminded of the travels and the sights ive seen. It was obviously Munich, but then more than that, my travels have brought me to the foot of the Eiffel tower, the water of the Trevi Fountain, a castle in the mountains, and where the seas meet the seas. But moreover, from those travels i knew there is just so much more to see of the world, the cities that no one heard of, and avenues few people walk through. I danced with more gusto and confidence last night than i had in a very long time. I left my inhibitions at the door and watched my shy youth go off in the distance. Perhaps it was a product of the year's happenings. The nearly forced learning of being independent, quickly and in a place where nobody knows your name, and many times where nobody knows your tongue. Where was this gusto while standing next to a beautiful girl on sort of balcony, listening to a swing band, in Verona!? Next time then. I dont know if i had any new turn patterns in me, maybe a few new moves, or just a few that came back from the back of my mind. I wondered if it would shadow the professional creativity that i've been able to display in the last year. So many things made with these two hands, and even fewer that anyone will see.
The year hasnt abated my hunger for more, and maybe even hungrier to see more, grow more and be more. At times i feel like my age lies to me, theres so much more life to live, I only wonder if i had missed out so much and trying to rush to catch up as i get older. Who am i kidding though, i always tell myself that i intend to live forever!
So here i sit, in a quiet apartment, feasting on Ken Burns Baseball. Enjoying a lazy sunday at home, trying not to think about too much and surely doing way too little. Perhaps i'll get something sweet from the store. I should be thinking about tomorrow, and maybe the next year ahead. Maybe very little will change in the coming year, maybe more will. Yea, 31.
Monday, September 12, 2011
A.... traveler
Maybe, the selfish traveler?
I spent that last 10 days traversing due south of my current abode. With grueling train rides, sweltering heat, and what felt like days at a time without a good shower.
It was great to share the experience via facebook, foursquare and even email letters with my mom. Traveling alone has all that comes with it, the introspective look, the self pacing, discovery and self discovery - though i hadnt set out for the self discovery part. And its so hard to share that, to share anything about the feeling of excitement and the touch and feel of the world around. I came out thinking that theres still so much more to see and i've only touched the surface.
I began on a wednesday afternoon, to vejle, picking up a travel towel and a water bottle, both essential travel tools. Like the Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy, never leave without a good towel. I had two. From there was a beeline to Venice. Flensburg was interesting at night, I wanted to explore it more, but the train was coming. Vending machine soup saved my ass and so did some tea crackers (which i had with me the entire trip!). I had a few hours in Fulda, a charming town with some really cool churches and sculptures. It was a city that was upgrading and getting some modern touches. Then waking up in Munich to take that last bit over through italy. Here I got to appreciate the Austian alps, they were fantastic.
Venice was as ive seen it in so many books and travel ideas. But as a tourguide said it, its a fading city, soon to be a themepark. Still absolutely beautiful with majestic panoramas and the charming streets where one could get so easily lost. It was a great first stop.
Verona was just a comfortable city, busy enough to have the noise that i like, but easy enough to get around with lots of charm, beautiful women and a fantastic live swing band. I have to return, if only to see the opera and of course greet the hosts that held me there for a few hours.
Rome reminded me of new york, It reminded me about how mundane some of our NYC sights have become to me, yet how grand they still are. But for the locals of Rome, could they be any less mundane? How could it be to let those things be just second nature. "Hey guys lets meet at the Trevi fountain, get drinks.?" but the vatican was as gaudy as they say and this ridiculous arch commemorating the beginning of Christianity'.. I bet my Non denominational friends would love to put something else there haha! The history is just mindboggling, and so was the heat. Rome is best seen with cooler weather for sure. And damn, there were so many filipinos!
A train strike, and me being over cautious sent me over to Grossetto. My host, and fellow MCP, toured me around this fortress town and the following day to the Mediterranean sea with its warm waters and strong breeze.
From there to Milan, which most reminded me of New York's shopping areas. Everything was (even too) easy. Expensive shops and model like women. It was mistimed though, one more night and i could have been at the crazy fashion night. No bowtie, though i held 4 in my hand before i left. I left my bank card in a automatic ordering machine at mcdonalds(!) perhaps a good thing, it kept me from spending more money than i had.
To Laussane, with its breathtaking views, the unexpected (at least for me) Olympic museum and just amazing air. If you wanted an introspective moment, it was here. The train ride reminded me of popping out of the tunnel and seeing seattle. I had that wow moment when seeing those mountains and the lake in between. That was just stunning.
And then the Fairy tale castle, high above the mountain, should i ever come across the means, i'd love to make a room in the castle and then tear out the underground and build my voltron fortress. There were places for each of the lions!
Shopping in munich, and drinking at the famous Hofbrahaus!
Berlin, with its relevant history. It was a growing city..and 'the newest' one I've gone to. And then seeing the colleagues and friends on the train back.
Even this short narrative cant bring the emotions and the feelings of grandeur. I'll keep those to myself. There was a time in rome, when i wanted to stop taking pictures and just enjoy it, just be in the moment. To just be a traveler, passing through these cities to eat, to drink, to experience just a bit of what it is to live there. Maybe i wanted to feel like a local.
So, the experience is mine, no matter how much i can tel you. If you really want to know what its like, come with me on my next adventure..and you'll get a taste of it.
I spent that last 10 days traversing due south of my current abode. With grueling train rides, sweltering heat, and what felt like days at a time without a good shower.
It was great to share the experience via facebook, foursquare and even email letters with my mom. Traveling alone has all that comes with it, the introspective look, the self pacing, discovery and self discovery - though i hadnt set out for the self discovery part. And its so hard to share that, to share anything about the feeling of excitement and the touch and feel of the world around. I came out thinking that theres still so much more to see and i've only touched the surface.
I began on a wednesday afternoon, to vejle, picking up a travel towel and a water bottle, both essential travel tools. Like the Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy, never leave without a good towel. I had two. From there was a beeline to Venice. Flensburg was interesting at night, I wanted to explore it more, but the train was coming. Vending machine soup saved my ass and so did some tea crackers (which i had with me the entire trip!). I had a few hours in Fulda, a charming town with some really cool churches and sculptures. It was a city that was upgrading and getting some modern touches. Then waking up in Munich to take that last bit over through italy. Here I got to appreciate the Austian alps, they were fantastic.
Venice was as ive seen it in so many books and travel ideas. But as a tourguide said it, its a fading city, soon to be a themepark. Still absolutely beautiful with majestic panoramas and the charming streets where one could get so easily lost. It was a great first stop.
Verona was just a comfortable city, busy enough to have the noise that i like, but easy enough to get around with lots of charm, beautiful women and a fantastic live swing band. I have to return, if only to see the opera and of course greet the hosts that held me there for a few hours.
Rome reminded me of new york, It reminded me about how mundane some of our NYC sights have become to me, yet how grand they still are. But for the locals of Rome, could they be any less mundane? How could it be to let those things be just second nature. "Hey guys lets meet at the Trevi fountain, get drinks.?" but the vatican was as gaudy as they say and this ridiculous arch commemorating the beginning of Christianity'.. I bet my Non denominational friends would love to put something else there haha! The history is just mindboggling, and so was the heat. Rome is best seen with cooler weather for sure. And damn, there were so many filipinos!
A train strike, and me being over cautious sent me over to Grossetto. My host, and fellow MCP, toured me around this fortress town and the following day to the Mediterranean sea with its warm waters and strong breeze.
From there to Milan, which most reminded me of New York's shopping areas. Everything was (even too) easy. Expensive shops and model like women. It was mistimed though, one more night and i could have been at the crazy fashion night. No bowtie, though i held 4 in my hand before i left. I left my bank card in a automatic ordering machine at mcdonalds(!) perhaps a good thing, it kept me from spending more money than i had.
To Laussane, with its breathtaking views, the unexpected (at least for me) Olympic museum and just amazing air. If you wanted an introspective moment, it was here. The train ride reminded me of popping out of the tunnel and seeing seattle. I had that wow moment when seeing those mountains and the lake in between. That was just stunning.
And then the Fairy tale castle, high above the mountain, should i ever come across the means, i'd love to make a room in the castle and then tear out the underground and build my voltron fortress. There were places for each of the lions!
Shopping in munich, and drinking at the famous Hofbrahaus!
Berlin, with its relevant history. It was a growing city..and 'the newest' one I've gone to. And then seeing the colleagues and friends on the train back.
Even this short narrative cant bring the emotions and the feelings of grandeur. I'll keep those to myself. There was a time in rome, when i wanted to stop taking pictures and just enjoy it, just be in the moment. To just be a traveler, passing through these cities to eat, to drink, to experience just a bit of what it is to live there. Maybe i wanted to feel like a local.
So, the experience is mine, no matter how much i can tel you. If you really want to know what its like, come with me on my next adventure..and you'll get a taste of it.
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