Muse

I dont usually do this, mix that much of my personal life in here, but i think its relevant in the life of a designer. The things that inspire us and drive us, and the people as well.

Shakespeare had his muses and John Nash had his Alicia. This year i had someone who made me feel special, even if for a brief moment. These days it doesnt take much. That feeling came with personal ups and downs and all the wonderful dramatics of a romantic comedy or telenovela. It came with late night conversations, passed photos, wishes of sweet dreams good mornings all the way to flights and flights of fancy around the world. It also came with gut wrenching heartache and unfounded jealousy, start surprises and wicked revelations.

 But we as creatives need that, to build and to express needs emotion, 'emotional content' and 'feeling' to quote enter the dragon. Ive made some of the best things i've ever made this year due to all that. There's only so much you can get from physical inspirations, and even those are limited. We have that which drives us, and those who drive us and its great to find people like that. Some people search for a lifetime to get that kind of inspiration. I'd like to think it can come from anywhere, take it even if its short lived. Soon, sooner than later..my lifes work will hit the stage. I've got everyone to thank for it too. Though its still a bit early, up til now i could thank so many people. Though in the context, lets just thank all the muses in my life. The good feelings, the bad ones and the ones that never happened..You've all driven me to build a world of bricks bigger than maybe i'll ever know.

Though my muse this year, the ninja, the secret agent, the one with a gun, Thanks Ms KK

On a lighter note..finally a big business trip.  To Malaysia I go...and back to the stage.

Goose, chase.

I often wonder if these little trips change me. London was the last of the three major cities they say about Europe. Paris, Rome and London, that was my order. Each one was a learning experience, and this was no different. I went to see War Horse, as it nurtured my love for mechanics and theater and entertainment and puppetry. I went there to see if i could learn to build a better robot, or play experience or show experience. It was fantastic! And the little goose that stole the show. I was surely entertained. London itself was amazing, and i could go back just for the options of food alone. my pictures on facebook should show a little bit of it. But, am i more worldly now? am i any wiser? I always find myself more foolish after these trips, more brash. Another year like this and i'll find myself absolutely bonkers. Maybe Im wiser, more foolish and can build something new. I guess i wont know until the time comes. and with that.. foolishness and fearlessness... sometimes go hand in hand.

the good year

i remember the sick feeling i had when i walked out of that night club last year. my heart sank lower than my feet... It didnt stop me though, the year had been great after that. I met some really great people in the last 12 months. Some really did sway the direction of my life and maybe more than a few others crept into my heart only to slowly crawl out again, or maybe i just left the doors open. And its been another year working at this wonderful place with the amazing people though i stopped asking myself how i got so lucky and finally looked back at how much i busted my ass to get here. Maybe it never looked like it on the surface, but i knew where my heart was. but this year, this year was great. All the cool places i got to go, and the butterflies i got to feel in my stomach. The great meals, open spaces and tiny adventures mixed with blue seas hot sand and cool breezes. Yea.. So in the coming year, i hope to see a culmination of my lifes work and i really mean that. Everything ive done up to now..all those little and big sacrifices.

102.. anticlimactic

I saw this poster about getting things done hanging near my desk and it reminded me about how i felt just 6 months ago.. (or is it 7.. My math is not working..anyway the beginning of January). I had a totally different state of mind back then, so focused on my building, dead set on getting it done and i was able to manage that many builds in such a short time. Oh what passion and dedication it takes, i remember putting my heart and soul into those models. Then i got there and found something else... Now, its almost the same.. The first week recovering from home.. Getting back into the swing of things. And soon the pace will really pick up, and the faster i get things done, the faster each day goes. Except now..from then.. I let matters of the heart find me. Not a day goes by without a thought.. But maybe my little orange peels have dried up. I said once that i wouldnt let go... And sadly i have. At least i tell myself so. Oh but its a great story of a boy so far away finding someone to dote over, and letting the drama unfold in his head until a.. Not so climactic ending. Though, thats what next chapters are for, and bridges. So the fleeting moment that engulfed me for the last couple of months is fading, life continues...ill continue with my passions.. And maybe i can find another fleeting moment. But she has a place in my heart and maybe she will never realize how good of a place that could be. And so on to the next months projects.... Building and building, and soon to show the world where its all gonna be.

182.5 days in

So half the year is over. I must say 2012 has been pretty kind to me and just the stack of boarding passes ought to be a nice feather in my cap. Now i'm feeling like im getting settled in to life here. Getting used to the life, and reaping some rewards of my hard work. I cant wait to continue the adventures that is my life here in europe. Work never ceases to surprise me, and every day is just still wonderfully different. I know that i still have a lot to learn, and one day i'll have something out in the market. That will be a truly glorius day! Im sure ive been distracted in the last 5 months but some little orange. Though it could also be taken as inspiration, or a muse - much like the poets of old. Im sure its still healthy, but whatever gets one to build for the day right? THat being said, ive began to start looking at whats next in my life. New goals, new projects. Whatever it means, i find the need to climb a mountain. And we'll think about whats after that when i get down from the mountain.

Novelty, Lost and Found

When i first started, i asked myself how long it would take for the novelty to wear off, for me to find a boring moment in an otherwise incredibly exciting job. So it was just about 17 months. Ive been in a rut, i just havent been waking up for it all. Dont get me wrong folks, its still fun, still playing with toys and making robots...believe me, the worst day I could have still makes up for all the nutso, hard days i had getting here. There just hasnt been a bounce in my step, stemming from many things. Maybe its a lack of motivation, a mixture of things going on in my personal life that made its way to my professional life, or maybe its just my personality, getting bored easily and looking for the next thing. Whatever it was, I feel like its passed, and maybe this is the cycle, feeling out of it, and sticking through long enough for the wheels to get back to speed. The words will always play in my head, and im really glad someone was there to say them to me. "Don't lose it," he said. It just took a good couple of hours seeing people so happy and passionate to lift my spirits. For the first time at the job, i've felt super appreciated, and witnessed the appreciation that people have for Designers of their beloved product. It was a great weekend for the spirit, and cant wait to get to the next one..a mere four weeks from now. As for my personal life, a song does it justice. I would walk 500 miles, and I would walk 500 more, just to be the man who walked a thousand miles to fall down at your door.

Little Orange

Ever try to peel off the skin from one of those small oranges in one piece? its not the easiest thing in the world, but wholly satisfying when finished. I hear the Japanese have contests on shapes you make out of it. But anyway.

I havent been here in a while. Work is at a steady stride, the routine is there, but never really routine. I still work at a job that offers me something possibly different every day even if things can seem the same on paper. Sometimes i forget that what i say has some weight, that i have just a bit of decision power and that theres just that much i bring to the table. Theres my own humility, but i have to remember to have an opinion, and strong ones.

LEGOWorld was fun, four nights in 'The Sky.'
Yea, the first day was tough, and the rest got smoother as the days went by. You can find my robots on Flickr.com/1brick. The photomonkey was awesome!

Really though, I havent been on cloud nine for a while, maybe innocently, but getting old and jaded is keeping me grounded. The time was short, the time was great and the sleeping was next to none..but you had to have some, or not. Seems a little orange kind of rolled into my life, sweet for sure. Just like everything else, gotta take it as it is, and only hope for more.

As for building, the major thing i came up with was accepting failure. Failure as a variant of done. My big robot is gonna hit the shelf, and maybe ill return to it. Hitting the sketchbook hardcore these days.

Time for something new yea? Something grand, something big, something amazing, and maybe a new massive ridiculous creation as well.