Clarity

On my way to the gym today I noticed something really strange.
A moment, or maybe more than a moment, but a realization of clarity. I dont think I've ever had that, not like this. Most of my life, at least the recorded bits, via journal, xanga, myspace, facebook and the like.. I've been a troubled soul. I never felt so at peace with myself. There was no search for love, no search for longing feelings, no feeling of solemnity, no immense happiness or sadness, just clarity. The world would still be ahead with its troubles and mysteries.

And it'll be just the first year of the rest of my life. It's coming to a head for sure. My first project, it may be my "life's" work. I'm putting all sorts of pressure on myself, none that need to be added by the enormity of it all. It's just a model anyway. Maybe I'm just sentimental, it's the first, and you never forget your first. Those who know me well also know that I am.

But here and now, things are so clear. I can look forward and back so easily and thus towards my goals with reckless abandon. I'm taking care of myself yet not afraid to let someone in, not afraid of anything but being stagnant. I wish that my friends can also feel this at some point in their lives.

Word, this is life. This is crazy.