2 months - Still not ready

Just a few hours removed from my first two months away from home, i mean really away from home, and I stand amazed by how little i still know and how unprepared I was for this journey. But that's how we grow right? Getting thrown into the fire, and hopefully walkaway with meaningful scars.


I knew it would happen sooner or later, but I finally feel a little homesick. Maybe its the looming holiday that I'm missing. There's an air that's missing here around this time of year, and it's hit me harder than I thought it would. I honestly didnt prepare myself to miss thanksgiving. With all of the madness going on with the move, it totally slipped my mind and maybe thought that I could get through it. I'm sure i'll feel better at the end of the week and get to focus on my next 30 days or so before I go home for christmas.

That being said, I have a lot to be thankful for. Its been the most productive year of my life and surely the most life changing. I still can't believe i'm here where I am doing what i'm doing. The amount of experiences, good and bad this year really gave me a huge personal boost. Just all the support from my family and friends have been enough as well. I've also got a wonderful girlfriend, who's really been so good to me through all this too. Taking another step with reconnecting with my brother and hopefully it'll get better as the years go on. All of it bringing me back and remembering not to take any of this for granted. It can all come down so quickly, such is life. But i'm super thankful for it all hope everyone at home has a wonderful thanksgiving. I miss you all

I've been thinking about how unprepared i would be if I would buy a house for example. Its a valid thought at this stage in my life I think? I have no clue about it, and watching how people are just going through the motions with mortgages, loans, home repairs, and even something as simple as buying furniture! Its just more than I want to do, and so many other things to focus on. I do know that I want to build a wooden dummy at some point in my home life, what a silly thought right?

Surely i thought i could handle the separation in geography with Yvonne. Its so much harder than I thought. I find myself forgetting that she's 3000 miles away thinking she'll always be there when i'm ready to call or whatever and vice versa. Our time is limited already just by distance, and surely its been just a hard realization for me. Its on me to change my habits to make it work. She's been so supportive, but I've probably not been giving enough in return. Thanks for taking a look from outside for me..and I'll work harder at this.

I'm still not ready for all the craziness about to happen, all the adventures that i'll have. I'm still not ready for the many quiet nights, and silent dinners. I'm not ready for the successes and failures, trials and tribulations, fears and frustrations. Honestly, who is, and what fun would life be if i was.

I am ready to push forward, keep learning. Ready to take leaps of faith and jumps into deep water. Ready to create great things, change for the better and (at this hour...EAT.

and yes, the job is still fun even on a cold and hard monday morning.
I've built my first MOC since I moved here, check out the time lapse on my flickr account. (Ok, maybe not my first..but certainly the most independent one from my work stuff).

Happy thanksgiving again all, thanks for reading.
LeE