Goose, chase.

I often wonder if these little trips change me. London was the last of the three major cities they say about Europe. Paris, Rome and London, that was my order. Each one was a learning experience, and this was no different. I went to see War Horse, as it nurtured my love for mechanics and theater and entertainment and puppetry. I went there to see if i could learn to build a better robot, or play experience or show experience. It was fantastic! And the little goose that stole the show. I was surely entertained. London itself was amazing, and i could go back just for the options of food alone. my pictures on facebook should show a little bit of it. But, am i more worldly now? am i any wiser? I always find myself more foolish after these trips, more brash. Another year like this and i'll find myself absolutely bonkers. Maybe Im wiser, more foolish and can build something new. I guess i wont know until the time comes. and with that.. foolishness and fearlessness... sometimes go hand in hand.

the good year

i remember the sick feeling i had when i walked out of that night club last year. my heart sank lower than my feet... It didnt stop me though, the year had been great after that. I met some really great people in the last 12 months. Some really did sway the direction of my life and maybe more than a few others crept into my heart only to slowly crawl out again, or maybe i just left the doors open. And its been another year working at this wonderful place with the amazing people though i stopped asking myself how i got so lucky and finally looked back at how much i busted my ass to get here. Maybe it never looked like it on the surface, but i knew where my heart was. but this year, this year was great. All the cool places i got to go, and the butterflies i got to feel in my stomach. The great meals, open spaces and tiny adventures mixed with blue seas hot sand and cool breezes. Yea.. So in the coming year, i hope to see a culmination of my lifes work and i really mean that. Everything ive done up to now..all those little and big sacrifices.

102.. anticlimactic

I saw this poster about getting things done hanging near my desk and it reminded me about how i felt just 6 months ago.. (or is it 7.. My math is not working..anyway the beginning of January). I had a totally different state of mind back then, so focused on my building, dead set on getting it done and i was able to manage that many builds in such a short time. Oh what passion and dedication it takes, i remember putting my heart and soul into those models. Then i got there and found something else... Now, its almost the same.. The first week recovering from home.. Getting back into the swing of things. And soon the pace will really pick up, and the faster i get things done, the faster each day goes. Except now..from then.. I let matters of the heart find me. Not a day goes by without a thought.. But maybe my little orange peels have dried up. I said once that i wouldnt let go... And sadly i have. At least i tell myself so. Oh but its a great story of a boy so far away finding someone to dote over, and letting the drama unfold in his head until a.. Not so climactic ending. Though, thats what next chapters are for, and bridges. So the fleeting moment that engulfed me for the last couple of months is fading, life continues...ill continue with my passions.. And maybe i can find another fleeting moment. But she has a place in my heart and maybe she will never realize how good of a place that could be. And so on to the next months projects.... Building and building, and soon to show the world where its all gonna be.

182.5 days in

So half the year is over. I must say 2012 has been pretty kind to me and just the stack of boarding passes ought to be a nice feather in my cap. Now i'm feeling like im getting settled in to life here. Getting used to the life, and reaping some rewards of my hard work. I cant wait to continue the adventures that is my life here in europe. Work never ceases to surprise me, and every day is just still wonderfully different. I know that i still have a lot to learn, and one day i'll have something out in the market. That will be a truly glorius day! Im sure ive been distracted in the last 5 months but some little orange. Though it could also be taken as inspiration, or a muse - much like the poets of old. Im sure its still healthy, but whatever gets one to build for the day right? THat being said, ive began to start looking at whats next in my life. New goals, new projects. Whatever it means, i find the need to climb a mountain. And we'll think about whats after that when i get down from the mountain.

Novelty, Lost and Found

When i first started, i asked myself how long it would take for the novelty to wear off, for me to find a boring moment in an otherwise incredibly exciting job. So it was just about 17 months. Ive been in a rut, i just havent been waking up for it all. Dont get me wrong folks, its still fun, still playing with toys and making robots...believe me, the worst day I could have still makes up for all the nutso, hard days i had getting here. There just hasnt been a bounce in my step, stemming from many things. Maybe its a lack of motivation, a mixture of things going on in my personal life that made its way to my professional life, or maybe its just my personality, getting bored easily and looking for the next thing. Whatever it was, I feel like its passed, and maybe this is the cycle, feeling out of it, and sticking through long enough for the wheels to get back to speed. The words will always play in my head, and im really glad someone was there to say them to me. "Don't lose it," he said. It just took a good couple of hours seeing people so happy and passionate to lift my spirits. For the first time at the job, i've felt super appreciated, and witnessed the appreciation that people have for Designers of their beloved product. It was a great weekend for the spirit, and cant wait to get to the next one..a mere four weeks from now. As for my personal life, a song does it justice. I would walk 500 miles, and I would walk 500 more, just to be the man who walked a thousand miles to fall down at your door.

Little Orange

Ever try to peel off the skin from one of those small oranges in one piece? its not the easiest thing in the world, but wholly satisfying when finished. I hear the Japanese have contests on shapes you make out of it. But anyway.

I havent been here in a while. Work is at a steady stride, the routine is there, but never really routine. I still work at a job that offers me something possibly different every day even if things can seem the same on paper. Sometimes i forget that what i say has some weight, that i have just a bit of decision power and that theres just that much i bring to the table. Theres my own humility, but i have to remember to have an opinion, and strong ones.

LEGOWorld was fun, four nights in 'The Sky.'
Yea, the first day was tough, and the rest got smoother as the days went by. You can find my robots on Flickr.com/1brick. The photomonkey was awesome!

Really though, I havent been on cloud nine for a while, maybe innocently, but getting old and jaded is keeping me grounded. The time was short, the time was great and the sleeping was next to none..but you had to have some, or not. Seems a little orange kind of rolled into my life, sweet for sure. Just like everything else, gotta take it as it is, and only hope for more.

As for building, the major thing i came up with was accepting failure. Failure as a variant of done. My big robot is gonna hit the shelf, and maybe ill return to it. Hitting the sketchbook hardcore these days.

Time for something new yea? Something grand, something big, something amazing, and maybe a new massive ridiculous creation as well.

The crack

a bit hungry, but felt like writing

The crack of the cue ball hitting a fresh nine ball rack with a good stroke would send chills down many a spine. It was music to my ears. And i was that guy, yea that guy showing off in the middle of the pool table, at least with the loud break. I had a few good racks, relatively consistent with a decent position. The break shot from the back of the rack with the corner ball going into the side pocket-that shot was becoming easy.
I needed a fresh look at things, a creative boost in another department. What was mostly necessary was being able to shoot without bias, without though or complaint. Its like building without rules, screaming without volume, punching the gas on a go kart and hitting the turn without brakes. That happened this week too, but no one can get enough of that anyway.
It was a payday present to myself. But it wasnt the usual pool hall experience, my rusty memory of the smoky place, ridiculously loud music and friendly hostess seemed to fade a little for a silent three hours of no nonsense shooting. I could use a little company sometimes, i think i spend way too much time alone to be honest. Maybe that stark idealist, maybe i havent figured it out yet, ever the humble gentleman, the nomad and warrior haha.

And this old man on the train, looked like Mr. Miyagi and Sam seed rolled into one. His dirty grey que stuck out of a hole in a beat up old skully. He flexed and stretched like a crazy drunken master and he looked like he lost 3 of his fingers on his right hand fighting the good fight. 'Hav god dag!' streamed out of of his drunken lips, wet from the foam of a can that he couldnt open properly. I made up a story in my head about him, he couldnt just be a vagabond, and homeless stranger. He had to be this warrior, down on his luck, maybe missing some old lady lost in the passage of time. He fought many a battle, drunken style, maybe eagle claw..and his three strong fingers were a akin to that. 'Hav god dag' in an asian danish accent, the old master stammered. I wonder if i could have learned something from him. He could have showed me how to strengthen my hands by crushing beer cans he drank. The story was great. The ride home was sleepy and quiet, and the next day would be just as quiet.

Time for ice cream, time for legoland.

and i should mention oktoberfest somewhere. but thats another story.